WHAT IF

Why do you always seem so angry? your never happy anymore. All you talk about is how you want more money, and that the kids are driving you nuts. In the meantime I am falling apart inside but too scared to tell you cause I don't want to feed your anger. I may loose my job soon, or be forced to take another position that is below what I am doing now, so basically I would be moving down instead of up. My job situation is scary. My health is not so great. The vows we took meant that we should nourish and develop our marriage by undivided affection, which came from the foundation of divine love and remain faithful in body and in mind, in good times as in bad. What happened??
I love you unconditionally.
My friend what if has come into play now

Eating worms

I'm not really eating worms...not yet anyway...

So little mama doesn't have an ear infection. She does however have a cold starting. She seems to be in a good mood though. Her nose bugs her at night so she whines every once in awhile in her sleep. Last night though little man woke up with his nose bugging him too. Daddy put him in bed with us...what a mistake! The child is a horrible co-sleeper, as usually his toes end up near my eyes or nose, and his head is jammed in daddys back. When he is sick he is worse. He lays all over me, up and down, down and up. Needless to say I got no sleep. He was in a good mood this morning when I left for work though and so was little mama.

I am having issues. I am having a very hard time balancing my kids, the hubs, my house cleaning, working, other relatives, friends, and my cyber world time. I mean come on everyone knows that my blogging comes first! No, really I usually blog at work.
But for real, I don't understand how my mom did it. Our house was always well maintained, we always had good food (not frozen pizza's like my kids get) for dinner, I never felt like she wasn't spending time with me, and she worked 2 jobs. My mom had a day job working at a doctor's office, and after I would go to sleep she would go work the night shift driving her own catering truck. She said she made most of her money on the catering truck. Plus near Christmas for extra money she would go work at Mervyn's (a department store) so we could have a good Christmas. She did alot for us. My dad worked too, and even though he was home more than my mom (ALOT more) I always felt less connected to him when I was younger.
I sleep alot. I love sleep. I work and come home and want to got to sleep. I sometimes wonder if I have something wrong with me since I always am tired.
I lack the ability to spend as much quality time with my children as I really want too. I suck at keeping up the house. My friends have probably forgot my name. My husband is lucky if he gets a kiss a day from me, much less have sex....and that is totally wrong cause he is an awesome man who totally takes care of me and the kids, and basically lives his life for us.
I am soooooo behind that last night my mom mentioned that little mama would be one next month. She said "someone is turning one next month" while holding her, and for a moment I was like ummmmm who???? Oh right right little mama is...OMG I haven't even thought about a b-day party for her!!
I am having a bad day, feel like a bad mom, and just want to crawl in a hole and die.
I know I can't be the best mom, or cook like Betty Crocker, but the fact that I forgot her b-day made me feel like crap....
I'm going to go eat worms now

Ear ache?? Poop fun!

So I suck at blogging...I know. Little mama may have ANOTHER frickin ear infection. I was up with her 3 times last night. She was pulling her ears so I gave her tylenol. She stayed up though, whining, and she finally stopped at 3 am when I gave her MY blanket! I wrapped her in it and she was out. I froze until 6 am, and then got up to go to work. She of course stayed asleep, nicely wrapped up in MY warm blanket. I would rather freeze then hear her scream though.
Today I am leaving work at 3 to take her to the doc, and to get little man his shots..I am only 4 months late!
I don't have much to talk about except poop! Poop is poop. Before I was a mom, if someone showed me a childs poop smeared on his legs or hands I probably would puke or faint, or both. Since I have become a mom, poop doesn't bother me. I have 2 air breathers in diapers!! If one isn't pooping a titanic poop in his diaper, than the other one is. I change poop alot. Just call me the poop switcher! I would hate to be our trash man!
Last night I changed little mama. She is now eating gerber stage 3 food...so her poop is stinky! She had it on her leg, the blanket inside her crib, and her hand. I cleaned her off, gave her a bath and bottle and off to sleep she went. I then put the boys in the tub and walked out for a second to grab a towel. Little man was in the tub with Joe schmo, when I hear Joe schmo yell "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, COME QUICK, HE IS DOING SOMETHING NASTY AGAIN."
I go into the bathroom expecting to find out that little man is discovering himself or something, but instead I find Joe Schmo out of the tub, and covered in brown. Little man is playing happily in the tub..the VERY brown tub. Turns out little man had diarrhea in the tub. I end up letting the water out, and having both boys stand up in the shower and clean themselves. Then I end up getting them dressed, and off to bed. Now I clean the tub, then take myself a shower since I had poop on my hands. After all this, I still managed to have an appetite. I ate my ham sandwich and went did laundry.
Good times, being a mom is full of poop, spit up, baby food in my hair, and a thousand sippy cups with only 2 stoppers for the lids....