MY OB visit..horrid!!
So I was blessed with this little thing called a vagina. The vagina has caused me both pleasurable and horrific moments. Pleasurable would be when I am with the hubs doing the damn thing! Horrific moments seem to just haunt me. I have popped out 3 children, one 9 pounds 8 ounces, out of this thing. I have had horrible stiches down there 3 times making me scared to death to pee or boo boo. I have had multiple doctors/physicians assistants/nurses/hubby/ my mom(while giving birth)/ and every other god damn person who works in the hospital looking down there.
Today I went for my normal once a year this is why I hate to be a female check. They check EVERYTHING. My feet cause I am diabetic, rub my tummy feeling for hard spots, and my breasts feeling for lumps. Then they look in my ears, nose, and throat.
Next I get checked down there. I have had this done since I was 18. I feel a little disgusting if I do not trim down there, shave my legs, and have a nice pedi before going to the dr. I took care of all this last night. I thought I was totally prepared for this exam. I mean jeeez it sucks to have a woman down there, while your legs are up in the air, and she is "whistling while she works".
She does her normal thing..She puts the lubricant on her 2 fingers and feels me inside. Then she takes this huge meteal object and basically "widens me" by using the metal thing as a levy to get inside me. She swabs me, and then takes them metal thing out. I am happy. I don't have to see her again for a whole YEAR! But wait...here comes the horrific part.
It was me, the doctor, and nurse (AKA crotch watcher)
I am just about to sit up and feel way less vulnerable when I suddenly hear the crotch watcher gasp. She says "hhhhhhhuhhhhh WHATS THAT DOC????" I swear to you I thought I was going to die!! The doctor's reply was way more embarrassing, "Mrs. G, have you been checked for STD's since last year" my answer was "NO, I've only been with my husband and likewise." She starts to tell me I may have vaginal warts. I am of course LIVID! I am thinking I know I haven't been with anyone else, and am for the first time in 5 years doubting the hubs. I am almost so mad that I am on the verge of tears! But get this.....The doc starts laughing HYSTERICALLY, and replys "false alarm."
I was so mad...I said loudly "what the hell do you mean false alarm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell is happening???"
She says "Mrs. G, are you wearing new panties today??"
I said "As a matter of fact I am"
She says "False alarm, it was just a few fuzzys from your new panties."
HORRIBLE........The simple truth is this...I walked out feeling horrible for doubting the hubs, and she walked out with $1500 from my medical insurance for the office visit.
Today I went for my normal once a year this is why I hate to be a female check. They check EVERYTHING. My feet cause I am diabetic, rub my tummy feeling for hard spots, and my breasts feeling for lumps. Then they look in my ears, nose, and throat.
Next I get checked down there. I have had this done since I was 18. I feel a little disgusting if I do not trim down there, shave my legs, and have a nice pedi before going to the dr. I took care of all this last night. I thought I was totally prepared for this exam. I mean jeeez it sucks to have a woman down there, while your legs are up in the air, and she is "whistling while she works".
She does her normal thing..She puts the lubricant on her 2 fingers and feels me inside. Then she takes this huge meteal object and basically "widens me" by using the metal thing as a levy to get inside me. She swabs me, and then takes them metal thing out. I am happy. I don't have to see her again for a whole YEAR! But wait...here comes the horrific part.
It was me, the doctor, and nurse (AKA crotch watcher)
I am just about to sit up and feel way less vulnerable when I suddenly hear the crotch watcher gasp. She says "hhhhhhhuhhhhh WHATS THAT DOC????" I swear to you I thought I was going to die!! The doctor's reply was way more embarrassing, "Mrs. G, have you been checked for STD's since last year" my answer was "NO, I've only been with my husband and likewise." She starts to tell me I may have vaginal warts. I am of course LIVID! I am thinking I know I haven't been with anyone else, and am for the first time in 5 years doubting the hubs. I am almost so mad that I am on the verge of tears! But get this.....The doc starts laughing HYSTERICALLY, and replys "false alarm."
I was so mad...I said loudly "what the hell do you mean false alarm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the hell is happening???"
She says "Mrs. G, are you wearing new panties today??"
I said "As a matter of fact I am"
She says "False alarm, it was just a few fuzzys from your new panties."
HORRIBLE........The simple truth is this...I walked out feeling horrible for doubting the hubs, and she walked out with $1500 from my medical insurance for the office visit.
posted by Larah @ 2:55 PM
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